Several days before EAGC (East Asian Graduate Camp) 2019, were the hardest days in my ministry (I’m a deacon in my church). Almost for 3 days consecutively right before EAGC that was held at August 9-13th 2019, I rush immediately to my church after office hours. We talked about so many problems, the conflict between each other, and divisions within my church. Then, I came home so burdened, tired, feeling lonely, and wondering what will I be in the next several years. And so, that’s how I ‘checked-in’ to EAGC.
The theme of Reconciliation is not something new for me, at least that’s what I thought on the first day of EAGC. Yeah, I know we have been reconciled with God and each other through the cross. But I was being skeptical about everything, the fact of my church’s problems, my loneliness, and my uncertain future still heavily burden me. Talking about reconciliation, brokeness, and lamentation may not be a new knowledge for me but it was a new experience for me that I finally DARE to ACCEPT and LAMENT on my BROKENESS.
When I get back home, many more problems are arising. To think about Indonesia and the world’s problems even more burden me. To lament is neither an easy nor a comfortable act to do. It takes a lot of suffering and transformation to shift from being skeptical to finally admit that I’m powerless with my brokeness to make a change. However, I learned we all have to go through the proccess to step on a new level.
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